Artoriious

❝ Work until your idols become your rivals. ❞

"In theory, could Blitz mid work?" (Bravo to you good sir if you read it all)

  • Kai: In theory, could blitz mid work?
  • Moody: . . .
  • Moody: in theory everything fucking works don't you get it
  • Moody: the thing is if blitz misses a hook his kit makes him useless
  • Moody: Okay let me rephrase that
  • Kai: Do you think it's worth a try for someone who can land a hook to bring blitz mid
  • Moody: uh
  • Moody: okay best case scenario
  • Moody: you land a hook RIGHT FUCKING AWAY
  • Moody: TWO MINUTES INTO THE GAME AND A HOOK ALREADY?
  • Moody: IT'S HOOK CITY BITCH
  • Moody: then you go in for a cs
  • Moody: just one creep
  • Moody: to last hit it
  • Moody: for like 20 gold
  • Moody: which you will then attempt 7 times
  • Moody: this should be EASY
  • Moody: EZ FCKING
  • Moody: PEEEEESY
  • Moody: because you landed a hook and got them to half health
  • Moody: so what are they gonna do
  • Moody: fight?
  • Moody: THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT THEY DO
  • Moody: THEY AUTOATTACK THE SHIT OUT OF YOU
  • Moody: A ND YOU RUN AT THEM LIKE "I'LL DO IT AGAIN BITCH HOOK CITY"
  • Moody: AND THEY BACK AWAY WHILE HITTING YOU
  • Moody: then you're at half and you're like
  • Moody: "whatever I'll get them when my hook is up"
  • Moody: so you back off and don't get cs
  • Moody: you let them cs
  • Moody: whenever your hook is up you fire it
  • Moody: you land it once
  • Moody: this should be easy they were at half before
  • Moody: two halves is a whole
  • Moody: I can kill them because I landed a hook
  • Moody: WRONG BITCH
  • Moody: THAT MORGANA BOUGHT FUCKING TEN HEALTH POTS
  • Moody: THEY WERE AT FULL LIKE TEN SECONDS AGO
  • Moody: so you get her to like 3/5
  • Moody: but you simultaneously get to about the same amount
  • Moody: so now here's your scenario
  • Moody: you have less cs than them
  • Moody: you've probably wasted a shitton of mana
  • Moody: so both of you back and get items
  • Moody: you grab fucking what idk a doran's ring
  • Moody: or a null magic mantle
  • Moody: you get one item with your lack of cs and go back into lane
  • Moody: THEY HAVE A HAUNTING GUISE ALREADY
  • Moody: THAT BITCH WILL CUT THROUGH YOU LIKE A REALLY STRONG KNIFE INTO A WEAK ASS ROBOT WITH A HOOKHAND
  • Moody: now here comes the deciding factor in this equation
  • Moody: your jungler is there
  • Moody: he's maokai
  • Moody: and he's fucking like
  • Moody: "morg mid is ungankable" and you're like "fuck you she's ungankable" and you land a hook and your knockup stun thing life is fucking good
  • Moody: and maokai chains the cc
  • Moody: before she even gets her shield up and wtf
  • Moody: she just died
  • Moody: you did it
  • Moody: the witch is dead
  • Moody: you decide to back with your moneyz
  • Moody: you have merc treads or some shit
  • Moody: maybe some pots
  • Moody: you go back into lane
  • Moody: SHE'S HALFWAY TO AN ABYSSAL SCEPTER
  • Moody: YOU GOT FCKING
  • Moody: KILLS
  • Moody: TO PAY THE BILLS
  • Moody: AND STILL SHE'S BEATING YOUR ASS
  • Moody: now you're at level 6
  • Moody: because this is happening in realtime and it's taken me like ten minutes to explain this
  • Moody: you're like
  • Moody: "yada fucking yada I know this"
  • Moody: land a hook
  • Moody: again
  • Moody: hook city bitch
  • Moody: you knock her up
  • Moody: you use your ult
  • Moody: you speed up to constantly auto attack her-- hey what
  • Moody: she-- she stunned me or something
  • Moody: i can't move?
  • Moody: and I'm at like half
  • Moody: i'm standing on some fucking
  • Moody: dead ass soil
  • Moody: that hurts my robot ass feet
  • Moody: hey what the fuck I can't eveb
  • Moody: SHE STUNNED ME THAT HO I'M GONNA FIST YOU SO HARD
  • Moody: oh i'm dead
  • Moody: she farms and pushes the shit out of her lane because she's morg and that's easy
  • Moody: also if you haven't figured out I'm using morg as the generic mid in this situation
  • Moody: anyways you get back in lane after 20 seconds you have merc treads and a ruby crystal you're blitzcrank tho who needs items
  • Moody: Morg is gone she's probably buying her fifth item by now
  • Moody: you've lost like two waves of cs
  • Moody: so you're like "oh I'm mid"
  • Moody: "mid is the most influential lane in the game"
  • Moody: "I'll push my lane and roam bot"
  • Moody: BITCH YOU CAN'T PUSH A DOOR WITH ONE OF THOSE "PUSH" SIGNS ON IT
  • moody111: BECAUSE YOU'RE BLITZCRANK AND YOUR AOE CLEAR IS YOUR ULT
  • Moody: AND IF YOU USE YOUR ULT MORG'S GONNA RAPE YOU HARDER
  • Moody: morg is back in lane
  • Moody: you're like
  • Moody: "i'm just. . . i'm just gonna. . . I give up"
  • Moody: you go afk
  • Moody: your bot lane loses when morgana roams there and gets a double kill
  • Moody: morg's q's are doing 700 damage
  • Moody: and it's twenty minutes in
  • Moody: everyone on your team hates you
  • Moody: "who the fuck plays blitz mid"
  • Moody: "stupid cunt"
  • Moody: "/all ten reports on blitz plz"
  • Moody: then you get reported ten times
  • Moody: you report yourself because you know you deserve it
  • Moody: you get permabanned for being an unskilled player
  • Moody: now you play dota 2
  • Moody: and that's why you don't play blitzcrank mid

  1. talonscontempt reblogged this from artoriious
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  8. twentyninthpsyche said: This is why we love Moody.
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  16. zatharista said: I see no fault in this guy’s logic. If you want to go hook city on a bitch, stay bot lane or maybe jungle, if that still works. :p
  17. cenes reblogged this from artoriious
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  19. artoriious posted this

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